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Inventing problems in our mind and then believing them is a clear path to self-sabotage.

Too often we amuse ourselves with anxious predictions, deceive ourselves with negative thinking, and ultimately live in a state of hallucination about worst-case scenarios.

Simply because they were once in a relationship with someone who was abusive, dishonest, or who left them, they respond defensively to everyone else who gets close to them, even though these new relationships have been nothing but kind and supportive.

If you carry old bricks from the failed relationships of your past to your present relationships, you will build the same flawed structures that fell apart before.

But after awhile, as I grew emotionally, I began to realize that I wanted and needed the comfort and support of long-term relationships.

So what did I do, and what can you do if insecurity is damaging your relationships?

You need to understand that a good relationship is about sharing ideas and enjoyable moments with another, to help each other grow in healthy ways, both together socially and as individuals.

You’re looking for imperfect people who balance you out – the perfectly imperfect people for you.Think about those times when you passed an unfair judgment on someone merely because they reminded you of someone from your past who treated you poorly.Sadly, some people pass judgments like these throughout the entire duration of their long-term relationships.The insecure passenger does not trust anyone else to drive. They imagine that the driver is not paying attention.Or they may even fantasize that the slight jolting of the driver stepping on the breaks is a sign of doom via an impending collision.If someone says one thing, don’t assume they mean something else.

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